"The Piano Has Been Drinking (Not Me) (An Evening With Pete King)" - Tom Waits (youtube, 5.3.2020)

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"The Piano Has Been Drinking (Not Me) (An Evening With Pete King)" - Tom Waits 

The piano has been drinking 

my neck tie is asleep 

and the combo went back to New York 

the jukebox has to take a leak 

and the carpet needs a haircut 

and the spotlight looks like a prison break 

cause the telephone is out of cigarettes 

and the balcony is on the make a

nd the piano has been drinking 

the piano has been drinking



and the menus are all freezing 

and the lightman's blind in one eye 

and he can't see out of the other 

and the piano tuner's got a hearing aid 

and showed up with his mother 

and the piano has been drinking 

the piano has been drinking


cause the bouncer is a Sumo wrestler 

cream-puff casper milk toast 

and the owner is a mental midget with the I.Q. of a fencepost 

cause the piano has been drinking 

the piano has been drinking




and you can't find your waitress 

with a Geiger counter 

and she hates you and your friends 

and you just can't get served without her 

and the box-office is drooling 

and the bar stools are on fire 

and the newspapers were fooling 

and the ashtrays have retired 

and the piano has been drinking 

the piano has been drinking t

he piano has been drinking 

not me, not me, not me, not me, not me

(youtube, 5.3.2020)